By: Jennifer Hefner
“We are not given a good life or a bad life. We are given a life. It is up to us to make it good or bad.” ~Author Unknown
Our current situation is…. TEMPORARY. Yes, temporary. We are the ones who make our situation as permanent as we allow it to be. No one else is responsible for our situation. We might look around and think we don’t have a choice, but ultimately, we have the power to change. That might be hard to swallow, we don’t like to be the party to blame. But it all comes down to you and me. So, what can you do if you are living “STUCK”? Is there a way out? Friend, I am here to tell you that your situation is temporary, you do not have to continue living STUCK.
I bring this topic up as my youngest daughter made the decision to transfer colleges to continue playing NCAA Division I volleyball. To be honest, this has been the hardest decision I have watched her make in her young life. Not so much deciding to transfer to another school, but the “hard” of walking into her coach’s office and calling it quits. Not to mention the agony she went through to tell us, her parents, as she felt like she was disappointing us. Watching her carry the weight of what she felt like was a permanent situation, one that she was extremely unhappy living in, has been nothing short of agonizing. The toll it has taken on her mental health and mindset, the physical effects as well, has been difficult but also such a learning experience for us all.
How often do you stay where you are to keep another person or group happy? How often do you stay in that situation to avoid negative comments or to keep from hearing someone say, “oh you are quitting”? How often do you stay in a situation because it is easier to stay there than to think about how hard it will be to make a change? This might be a job, a fitness class/plan, a relationship, school commitment, poor self-esteem- the list is endless.
I am sure one or all these scenarios have been the reason most of us have stayed in a situation that is not where we really would like to be. But what if you took the plunge to change your situation? Scary, right? I agree, but if you want a different result, you must be willing to make a change. When I started thinking about how to embrace uncomfortable situations, I thought of a couple of things. First, getting stuck is pretty normal in life. I think most people experience this at some point. Second, people with a healthy mindset are usually the ones who get themselves “unstuck”.
Where should you start to get yourself “unstuck”? If you are truly stuck in a situation that is not benefiting you or your mindset, define what you want or where you want to be. Then you will need to make a plan to take the necessary steps to change your current situation. Your plan might take time, and it might be challenging, but if you truly want to get “unstuck” be patient and diligent in following through with your plan. JUST START! Sometimes the hardest step is the first step, however taking that first step will get you on your way.
What getting “unstuck” comes down to in my opinion is: How determined are you to improve yourself or your situation? Do you believe you can change your situation? Are you finding the right support or surrounding yourself with the right people? Make sure you are checking in on these areas to help you along the way. Change is scary, but if you embrace it and remember where you want to be you will find it in you to keep going.
“Riding the waves of life” I like to call it. There are a lot of ups and downs along the way, sometimes you get thrown around. Sometimes there is a calm, but no matter what we all have moments of “stuck”. Sometimes we must make some wrong decisions before we make the right decision. But isn’t that what life’s about? And once you make the decision to get “unstuck,” your mindset will become stronger and healthier friend.
~Jennifer Hefner
Assistant Volleyball Coach
West Virginia Wesleyan College
Change Your State Mindset Coach